5 Types of Guys on Tinder
Have you tried Tinder?
Hook-up culture is in full swing, and so many adults venturing into the world are on Tinder, swiping left-and-right until their wrist cramps. While a small percentage of people on Tinder are there to find a relationship, Tinder has maintained a certain…reputation.
I’ve done my fair share of swiping — mostly left if I’m being completely honest. If you know my profile, stop reading now.
Opening the app is one of my worst habits when single. It’s most enticing when I’m bored or when I’m procrastinating, and I’m generally unimpressed with the results. Bios are full of cheesy pick-up lines, corrections of age (usually revealing them much younger than I want), and other pieces of information that I usually ignore.
For reasons unknown, there’s a continuity of profiles that straight women, such as myself, will recognize and often avoid.
Let’s explore what these look like.
*For all intents and purposes, I am a straight female, so these findings are from my own perspective*
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The “Fuck-Boy”
You know exactly who I’m talking about.
Picture him in your mind. Chances are, his haircut is as follows: long, floppy hair on top, sometimes curly, with the sides shaved. As it turns out, I have the same haircut.
His bio is nothing poetic. Maybe a string of emojis, including the smiling purple devil to accentuate the shirtless pictures teasing at his V-lines.
If you’re not into random hook-ups, steer clear. He’s definitely the Tinder-brand boy. Ever wondered why Tinder is known as the “fuck site?” Blame the “fuck-boys.”
The “Group”
Guys — you need to start taking individual pictures. Please stop posting group pictures without identifying yourself.
Too often, pictures from the same friend group make up the profile. Usually, it goes as follows:
“Oh, he’s cute. But which one is it? Please be the cute boy. It could be…Goddammit!”
A huge ‘thank you’ to the guys who draw arrows on their pictures or block other friends/girls’ faces out. It’s convenient, for one. Two, it boosts my self-esteem when other girls are blocked out of the profile. Ignorance is, indeed, bliss.
The “Nice Guy”
Spoiler alert: if they put anything in their bio that they’re a nice guy, they’re not. Nice guys usually don’t brand themselves as a ‘nice guy.’
He’ll seem nice right off the bat. He’ll shower you with compliments: “you’re absolutely gorgeous!” or “I’ve never met a girl like you. You’re truly one of a kind.”
He will also probably be the one to cuss you out if you don’t respond. Observe:
Him: You’re gorgeous!
Him: When are we getting married?
Him: Hello?
*a couple of hours later*
Him: Nevermind. You’re fuckin’ ugly anyway. Bye, bitch.
Always a nice touch, right? 10/10, would steer clear.
The “Open Relationship”
I don’t have any issues with polyamory — what I do have are trust issues.
I’ve never been in an open relationship, and quite frankly, I don’t know if I could. Again, nothing wrong with it, but it’s just not my speed.
I usually avoid these profiles on the off-chance it’s a cheating partner. Social media and dating profiles make it so easy for partners to cheat, and I value myself too much to be the other woman.
You also have to look out for the other partner. I know my own feelings, and I’d be devastated by a cheating boyfriend posting on a dating app that they’re in an open relationship — but take my opinion with a grain of salt.
The “Friends-With-Benefits”
FWB seems to be the majority of Tinder. It is, of course, the “hook-up site.” I never know what to expect with anyone I match with, so it’s usually my first question right off the bat.
I don’t engage in friends-with-benefits to avoid drama. I think for some people it provides them with what they need without having to commit. For others, it’s an opportunity for them to catch feelings for someone they can’t have and who doesn’t want to commit.
I’m just surprised how many people ask me to engage in friends-with-benefits who are more than 25 miles away from my location. Here’s how it goes:
Him: Hey, you down for FWB?
Me: I don’t know…you’re a little far away
Him: I’ll make it worth the drive ;)
Doubtful. In these situations, knowing your value is vital. Don’t drive to a guy who’s only going to leave you unsatisfied — especially when you’re the one that has to drive home while he gets to fall asleep satisfied.
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Tinder, I wish I could quit ya.
Once in a blue moon, people find their soulmate on Tinder. Or decent guys, at the very least.
Until then, I will keep swiping.
